Spontaneousnessity

Last night I was out with a couple of my friend, we ran into other friends (well not really friends just people my friend knows) and we all sat together, all of different nationalities, say we were about 6 at the table and all of us seem to get along nicely, until one had to leave so her friend suggested walking her to her car, right at that momentl, one of the “not really a friend” went: ew sho besh3a flaana! ma7abaita! (expressing how ugly he thought she was) I had my eyes a little too wide open staring at my kiwi juice as he went on and on abotu how she looks, my friend (my actual friend) tried to explain how she thought she was not ugly at all she had a charming personality and natural features, which she did she was quiet interesting and fun, but he kept on insisting that he found her rather ugly and using his exact words “betnaffir” when I couldn’t take it anymore as I was thinking, this person is such a charlatan!! He was talking and laughing and was very friendly with her and as soon as she walked away he trash talks like that!? I mean even if he found her ugly couldn’t he have kept this valuable information to himself?!.

And there went Sponty =} .. I suddenly barged into the conversation, I said "how can you be nice to someone you don't like! I wouldn't even want to be around people I don't like" he said that he had to cause she's his friend's friend! “ya3ni you HAD to be nice NOT that you actually are” that’s when he got my point, I was asking myself to shut up while I was speaking but I think I got a little too pissed off to shut myself up, it was over taking me! And I went on and on about how that was disrespectful even to us the rest of the people left on the table cause now we know that as soon as we leave he’ll start bad mouthing us.. by that time his friend came back from walking that poor girl to her car, and he was all nice again to that person not even feeling guilty for what we just said!! I was like wow!!! Some people just have it!! I told my friend am not at all comfortable with those people I’d rather leave and just continue the evening somewhere else, so we do.

This next part of the story has nothing to do with being hypocrite but they are some how related I just had to mention it.

We went to a place, I don’t know if I should mention the name =P and we sat down ordered our drinks and started picking up the fun where we left it, suddenly I see my friend jumping off her chair and pointing to the floor, I was hoping it was not what regularly people point at the floor for, but it was, yes my friends, a cockroach =} in the restaurant, with the wings and all GROSS!!! We went to the end of the restaurant where we asked for our bill from over there and for someone to get our stuff and moved again to another place hehe.

I don't like it when I feel like talking and people would say "it's okay just forget about it" it's like saying "just shut up! we don't even care" and I don't mean people from nowhere I mean people who are supposed to be "friends"..

I WANT TO TALK DAMN IT!

Regardless, my question now is as following, How Can You Forget?! "just forget about it" sounds very easy to say! but can you actually do it?! I do try, it takes forever for me to move on, but to forget? there are so many things that am just sick of and there's nothing I can do about it to make it better, I don't mean here specific matters like relationships, but yes it is included, I do mean in all fields, I hold grudges! I never let go of my anger, you'd assume that time helps get over it but it doesn't! it just makes things different but not unmemorable! trust me, it's been years, they are still there and they keep popping up every once and while which pisses me off completely!

What pisses me off even more is that I know we as we live have alot less issues than many surrounding us! yet we don't appreciate what we have and say ilhemdella, no we seek trouble by even creating them to ourselves! I got to the point of not wanting to say anything anymore but then the time comes and when I lay my head down to sleep, the show starts! if only my pillow could speak! I guess then it would probably only ask me to shut up and forget about it too!

*sigh*

Time.. how can you make it go back?!