Spontaneousnessity

WORDS FROM THE VISIONARY STEVEN WRIGHT:

- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

- Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

- It doesn't matter what temperature the room is,it's always room temperature.

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow glance upward]

- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

- Is "tired old cliche" one?

- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

- If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

- I got a postcard picture of the earth.On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

- The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

- I took a baby shower.

- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

- The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?"

- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

- I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

- I was reading the dictionary, I thought it was a poem about everything.

- The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me..

- Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

- Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... itpisses me off!

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

- Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

- My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour. Isaid "the whole time".

- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

- A fool and his money are soon partying.

- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow ;)

- If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

- Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

- They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning..."picks up his glass of water from the stool"...I like to live on the edge...

- There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

- I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him..."Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

- Sometimes I...No, I don't.